Adventures in Grocery Shopping

Grocery shopping is a weekly chore that neither Michael nor I particularly enjoy, but it must be done, so why belly ache about it. We try to make it interesting. For example, when I'm starting to get tired and frustrated, which usually happens somewhere around the cereal isle because I want Cookie Crisp or Cap'n Crunch and he insists on getting something healthy like Cheerios, he will often break the tension by countering some smart ass remark of mine by saying, too loudly, "Okay, we'll get Cap'n Crunch. Just don't hit me again!" That's really funny if you don't happen to be an elderly woman passing us in the isle who doesn't know us and only sees a frightened man and a pissed off looking blind woman.
So anyway, we were at the grocery store last night, and before we even got inside, we saw two ducks playing in a puddle in the parking lot. It really was precious. Precious too were the two toddlers yelling "Ducky!" and clapping and laughing as they watched them. Really sweet. It became less sweet however as they remained two isles behind us during the entire time we shopped, still shouting, "Ducky!"
Then Michael saw a really, really pregnant woman (he notices them now) and said, "Wow, she's really huge. And she's Indian. And she's in the ice cream isle. I guess that transcends cultures."
Ice cream, the great unifier.
Then as we were leaving the store, he saw another pregnant woman and said, "They're everywhere."
"Yes," I said, "we're multiplying."

Fair Weather Randomness

Michael and I were out together at midday yesterday, something that almost never happens through the week. I talked him into staying home and we went out to lunch and enjoyed the humidity-free warm day. We had a great time and made some interesting discoveries.
1. It takes less time to buy a car than to renew a cell phone contract. Seriously, we spent more time, went to more places, and got more sales person Bullshit while getting Michael a new cell phone than we endured when we bought our last car.
2. Women drive the economy. Almost everywhere we went, Michael was the only man in the place. There was one student on a laptop taking advantage of the free wifi at the cafe where we had lunch, but other than him, Michael was it. It leads me to the conclusion that in a lot of cases, stay-at-home moms do not stay at home. They are at BN or Kohl's or Target. I must admit that I am fascinated by stay-at-home moms. I don't know why, but I wonder about them-- what they do, how they live, etc. I wonder if there is some SAHM code of conduct to follow. The cafe we had lunch at has an indoor playground for kids, so we expected to see lots of moms there, and we did. One woman was in sweat pants and flip flops and her daughter was in shorts and sandals. That makes perfect sense to me. Then another woman, dressed in a pant suit, came in with her little girl in a sun dress and floppy hat-- to have lunch and slide on the slide. I don't get it. I realize that what I am trying to do is generalize a very diverse group, but they puzzle me.
3. This was just funny. Michael said, "I just don't understand people." I inquired what he was referring to and he said there was a woman sitting on the curb in front of her car outside the AT&T store, and clipping her toenails. WTF! I cannot think of a situation that would necessitate this action, but whatever.
So that's just a bit of Friday randomness from me. Have a good weekend.

Happy Earth Day!

I'm sure everyone has big Earth Day celebrations planned for the day. No? I'm shocked. No, not really. Thanks to news stories, most people will probably at least here that today is earth day though, which is more than can be said of years past. That makes me wonder if we are reaching a dangerous saturation point where "green" and "environmental" messages are concerned.
I remember years ago when bottled water first started appearing on shelves. Remember? Before Coca-Cola and Pepsi even got in on the action with Dasani and Aquafina? I heard a lot of people making fun of us bottled water drinkers. After all, water was free right from the tap. What kind of moron would go to the store and pay for water? Now, just ten years or so later, how many people don't buy bottled water? I'm sure there are a few people who still step up to the faucet with a glass in hand and drink straight from the tap, but I can't think it's very many people. Even people who do drink tap water probably have a filter pitcher or a filtration system on the refrigerator. What happened? Did we just get used to questioning the safety of our water supply rather than demanding cleaner water?
The same kind of thing is true for sun block. I can remember when I was little, my mom and her sisters used "tanning oil" and in the absence of store-bought tanning oil, they'd just use baby oil. Then we started hearing that maybe the sun wasn't the warm happy ball in the sky we thought it was, and we started seeing sunscreen popping up on store shelves. Even then, most people only used sunscreen if they were fair skinned or tended to get sunburned noses or shoulders. And a few hours playing in the yard? Well that was no reason for protection from the sun. Now, I'm not sure you can even find sunscreen, it's all sun block, and almost nobody goes out for a day in the sun without it. For that matter, many people limit their outdoor activities to the early morning and evening hours to decrease their exposure to the sun's harmful rays.
These changes in our behavior and our thinking seemed to have happened gradually, but the evolution was complete in under a decade. We just take bottled water and sun block for granted, and I have to tell you, that concerns me. I heard a news story recently that spoke of global climate change as if it was an inevitability, something that could be wrestled to the ground and defeated with the right ideas and investment. I believe global climate change is an inevitability, eventually. But I do think the rate of change is directly proportionate to humankind's impact on the earth. Rather than give us more stuff to buy in response to the problem, I would rather we be encouraged to help slow, if not prevent, the problem. I'm not saying air conditioning or swimming pools should be banned, heavens no, but there are things that individuals, businesses, and governments can all do. It is unfortunate that for the most part, businesses and governments (at least American ones) have chosen to ignore and deny the problem, and now I fear their strategy is just to pretend that global climate change is an unavoidable steamroller heading right for us, so why alter our lifestyles? What's next? We passively accept it when we all have to wear oxygen masks because of poor air quality?
I realize this post is something of a rant, and I'd say I'm sorry except that I'm not. So let me just offer my thanks for the things, big and small, that individuals are doing to at least keep the spirit of Earth Day in mind. In the comments, I'd love it if people would let me know what those things are. Sharing ideas is an important weapon in this fight for our planet. For my part, we use reusable grocery bags, reduce our consumption, drive a low-emission vehicle, buy organic most of the time, buy locally when we can, and make use of our local Goodwill store rather than contributing to crowded landfills. See, it's small stuff, but it's something. So what about you?

The Ritual of Drink

After a cold snap over the weekend that brought frost and flurries to Kentucky, spring, the fickle bitch, has decided to once again grace us with her presence. Yesterday, Michael had an early morning appointment to check into finishing up his degree, and I went with him. There is simply nothing like spring on a college campus, and our alma mater is especially beautiful. It was nice to be doing something outside our normal morning routine. In the struggle to get ready and get to work on time everyday, much of the beginning of the day around me gets lost in routine. But yesterday was a wonderful morning and we got lucky by being in a position to appreciate it.
We stepped into the student center, and instantly the smell of coffee hit me. I have returned to drinking coffee now, but only decaf, which really, that's hardly coffee at all. We had to get to the appointment and so couldn't linger, but I would have given anything to buy a cafe mocha, a real cafe mocha, and sit outside at a table and just enjoy the morning. Alas, it was not to be. We finished Michael's appointment and he dropped me off at work. I sat down at my desk and took the lid off my travel mug of decaf. How disappointing. It wasn't just the absence of caffeine. No, it was more than that. I have to admit that there is just something about purchasing a cup of coffee and having it presented to me, all steamy and yummy smelling and topped with whipped cream, in a paper cup. Most things I think are better done at home-- pizza, grilled hamburgers, cookies-- but I am a sucker for coffee in a paper cup with a plastic lid on top. This is not something I'm proud of, but there it is. If I could drive, I'm sure I would go through the Starbucks drive-thru every morning. As it is, I fix coffee at home and we carry our travel mugs to work with us. I don't know what makes coffee different, but I just really prefer it when somebody else makes it for me. I think it's the experience of smelling the coffee shop, or maybe it's a sense of camaraderie with the other caffeine junkies in line.
Asian cultures have long ritualized the art of the beverage, and I can totally understand why. Taking the time to drink something frivolous is one of life's great pleasures. Naturally, in the U.S., we turned that simple ritual into a corporate giant complete with merchandising, accessories, and a drive-thru lane. We are what we are, I suppose.
One of these mornings, I am going to take the time to enjoy a calorie-loaded cup of coffee that somebody else made for me on a sunny spring morning. See, I don't ask for much. It's the simple things.

No Groups Please

This week, Michael and I attended our fifth childbirth class given by the hospital where I will deliver. If I hadn't taken these classes, I'm sure I would always worry that I missed something, but so far I haven't learned anything that I hadn't already found out from books or the internet. I suppose the videos are helpful for the people who can see them, but for me, not so much. during the second half of last' night's class, the fathers left to attend a fatherhood class and the mothers stayed to have what spiraled into a "Seventeen" magazine style discussion of "female stuff," the stuff that women won't talk about in front of the men who got them pregnant. Whatever. I expected this from a set-up that thinks men and women can't discuss things together without fainting or breaking into giggles, so I sat calmly, trying to remember not to roll my eyes. People can see it when you do that, I reminded myself. When the women finished up our portion of the class, we sat around and waited for the men to finish. As usually happens, women began breaking up into groups of twos and threes. Except for me. I sat alone. Probably, I wasn't the only one sitting alone. Some people are just shy, some of the preggies were likely too uncomfortable to chit chat, and then there's me. Me, I simply don't do group stuff. Raised an only child, I guess I never really learned to play well with others. Or maybe as a writer, I'd just really rather be alone in my head, watching what my characters are up to. Whatever the reason, I do not function well in a group. I wouldn't go so far as to say that I'm a loner, because Michael and I do almost everything together. He's not a group person either. When I was younger, I used to feel the need to constantly challenge my own comfort zones, but now ... now I just don't care that much. Michael doesn't challenge my comfort zones and that works out just perfect for us. Actually, our comfort zones are the same, so we live in them quite happily.
I have been in several formal groups, and I always end up dissatisfied or disillusioned. Take now for instance: I am in a nonprofit group that ostensibly promotes the rights and independence of blind and visually impaired individuals in my community. That's what it's supposed to do. What it really does is promote the agenda of one person for his own self-serving purposes. I find that most groups, even those that begin with good intentions, end up being the fan clubs of people with their own motives. I can't tolerate this, and so often end up bucking the power structure with the end result being that I feel frustrated and beaten down. What can I say, I'm a Democrat and a Cubs fan. Rooting for the underdog against all reason is just what I do.
I want to be involved in community groups. I want to be active. But I can't just show up and follow blindly (pardon the pun) and go along with the machinations of a leader who doesn't have the group's best interest at heart. Seeking a leadership position for myself is the natural answer, but I'm hesitant to commit to something like that at a time when my life will soon be so drastically changed. See, I really take this stuff seriously.
I hope Sprout will understand this about his parents and not be resentful that we aren't eager to show up at class parties or chaperone school trips. Possibly, motherhood will be the ultimate challenge of my comfort zones, but I have to tell you, the thought of being at a playground and chit-chatting with a group of other moms makes me break out in a cold sweat. I have no problem addressing a group of hundreds, but put me in a small-talk, mingle type situation and I totally freeze up. No, my people skills are not the best. I have not joined professional writers organizations, specifically the Romance Writers of America because the major benefit of membership seems to be the networking opportunities available at the annual national convention. Well, that and their regular publication, which is not available in an accessible format-- I checked. I'm still waiting for a call-back on that one. No, I am not holding my breath.
I do wonder sometimes if I might be missing out on things, information or relationships, by keeping mostly to myself, but the older I get, the more I'm coming to accept this about myself. I simply am not a group person. In the end, when it's all said and done, I'd really just rather be at home, reading and knitting.

Idiots

I have long believed that America is suffering from a plague of stupidity, and last week proved it to me. Although whether it's a plague of stupidity or self centeredness is hard to determine. First let's start close to home. Kentucky, my beloved yet perplexing state, is in the throws of a major budget crisis, not unlike many states right now. If state government is having a budget shortfall, it stands to reason that citizens of that state are also feeling the pinch, right? Kentucky also has one of the lowest cigarette taxes in the country. Not surprisingly, we also have one of the highest rates of smoking. I don't think it takes a genius to take a passing glance at this situation and say, "Ah-hah! Let's raise the cigarette tax to offset the budget shortfall." I mean, the absolute worst thing that could happen is that people would quit smoking. Oh, what a shame. I realize that if you increase the cigarette tax to such a degree that people can't afford to smoke, then your revenue will suffer, but the cost savings in terms of public health would make up any loss. That's assuming that people actually would stop smoking if the cost of cigarettes got too high, something I'm not entirely convinced of. I have an aunt who has asthma and no health insurance, and she smokes two packs a day. Here's an idea: Stop smoking and you could breathe AND afford health insurance!
Let me say again that Kentucky has one of the lowest cigarette taxes in the country. If I were a legislator in Frankfort, I think the way to proceed in these lean budget times would be a no brainer. But enter the tobacco lobby. Legislators in Kentucky did not choose to increase revenue in the form of a cigarette tax, noooo. They opted to doll out severe funding cuts to education and health and human services. Now there's some fine long-term thinking for ya. Let's make it harder for people to get an education, thereby increasing their earning potential, and let's take away their much needed services at a time when they are most likely to be down on their luck and need them. Frankfort legislators, you're bringing down the curve for the rest of us.
In other idiocy news, Chelsea Clinton was giving a speech on behalf of her mother's candidacy in North Carolina when a student asked a question about her father's affair with Monica Lewinsky. It always irritates me to see college-age students acting like children, probably because I have such faith in their potential. I was once a politically active student, so I know the energy that group has and can create and the force for change they can be. I remember cringing when during Bill Clinton's run for President, someone on MTV asked him the critical question, "Boxers or briefs?" Come on people! You can't spit right now without hitting an issue of critical national or international importance, and this is what are youth choose to ask about? Sex and underwear? Really, I thought better of you. This student in North Carolina, he had to be, what, 10 years old, maybe 12 when the Monica scandal broke? I hardly think it's an issue that has been keeping him up nights. He simply wanted to show off and get attention, which he did. Our national media does love it when people behave badly or in poor taste. The national media, now there's some idiocy for you. I think the student who asked that question of Chelsea needs to go back to high school until he gets this juvenile behavior out of his system. Go put gum in the teacher's seat or a kick me sign on her back if you want that kind of attention.
The last item on Kimberly's Idiot Report is our U.S. Congress, which once again called oil executives on the carpet to account for their obscene profits during this time of skyrocketing fuel prices for average Americans. In theory, this is a good idea, but we all see it for the dog and pony show it is, just a way to prove to the American people that they are aware and are doing something about the problem while really doing nothing and probably passing notes scheduling appointments between Congressional campaign fund raisers and the big oil lobbyists. I would very much like to come back in a few weeks or months and apologize for slamming our Congress in light of them actually doing something about this instance of corporate gluttony, but the thought of being wrong on this isn't something that's got me worried.
so, you handful of faithful readers of my blog, go forth and feel smugly superior in your intellect today, secure in the knowledge that you are far smarter than many, especially those in power.

Pull your head out of ... the sand.

My best friend Molly used to remark that I had ostrich tendencies. Because I couldn't see other people, I sort of assumed they couldn't see me. It's the "head in the sand" principle, but without the sand. More times than I cared to count, I learned the hard way that indeed, people could see me. And hear me. Make note: If you roll your eyes and say something unflattering about somebody, that person will inevitably be standing right next to you. At least, if you are me, that's how it happens.
The ostrich effect also does not extend to my pregnant belly. For the first six months of my pregnancy, I didn't show at all. This is partly due to the fact that I don't like wearing tight fitting clothes, so most of my wardrobe is loose fitting. The better to conceal a baby bump. About three weeks ago though, that all changed. All of a sudden, I looked like a pregnant person. I could feel the gradual changes of course, but as long as my pants still fit, I figured no one else knew. And it isn't as though my pregnancy was a secret, it's more like it was a joke that I didn't think the rest of the world was in on yet. Turns out, they were. This was made clear to me when a maintenance worker in my building brought me some of his wife's maternity clothes. Apparently, they needed the room, she was done with them, and they didn't know anyone else to give them to. I think that is incredibly kind, and I am grateful, but I hardly know our maintenance guy. I have certainly never conversed with him about my pregnancy. Is it that obvious? I am moved by the number of people who have offered to give or let me borrow their maternity clothes, baby clothes, or other baby gear. It's like I've been given a key to the employee lounge where all the nice people hang out. It has perhaps been the best thing about being pregnant so far.
No strange people have put their hands on my belly yet the way I've been warned they will do. For that, I am also grateful because I won't be putting up with any of that, no matter how well meaning and innocent the gesture. The only person allowed to touch my belly unannounced is Michael, which he does pretty much every time I am within reach of him. I'm not able to stand sideways in front of a mirror and gauge my pregnant progress, but counting the number of times Michael touches my belly is probably just as accurate, not to mention sweeter. Everyday now, I feel bigger and bigger, convinced that if I could look at myself sideways in a mirror, the effect would be carnival like. Maybe not, but it sure feels that way.