Spiderwoman I ain't

Today, my secretary was in my office reading me an article she found on the internet about caffeine withdrawal. Thanks Joy, but it might have been more helpful to know that caffeine withdrawal can cause flu-like symptoms before a week ago when I was curled in the fetal position on the couch, but better late than never, right? Hmmm. Now that i think about it, "Better late than never" could be Joy's philosophy about a lot of things, specifically the carrying out of instructions, meeting reminders, deadlines ... you get the picture. But anyway, Joy was reading me this article. and well, I guess I had better throw this in now as it is sort of germane to the story of what happened during Joy's reading of said caffeine withdrawal article-- I am blind. totally. as a bat. Can't see my hand in front of my face. Not just any half-assed legally blind kind of blind, no. I'm the real deal, which should explain why Joy was reading me the article. Sweet girl, Joy. World's worst secretary, but nice.
Okay, so she's reading: yadda, yadda, yadda, yadda-- pause-- gasp of horror ... and nothing. I'm thinking ... some horrible side effect of caffeine withdrawal that doesn't manifest for a week after resumption of caffeine intake? She had an asthma attack? The Swamp Thing just crept up behind me? What? what, damn it, what! And then she says, "Do not move," and runs from my office.
What is the first thing you do when someone says "don't move?" You move, right? "don't look," and of course, you look. People should know this. It is unalterable human behavior at work here. So I push back from my desk, spin around in my chair, and punch fists in the air to fend off Swamp thing. Then Joy runs back in my office, hyperventilating, and tells me that a spider webbed down from the ceiling, horror flick fashion, and landed right on my desk. Okay, seriously, I would rather have had Swamp thing. so I jump up and squeal like a girl while Joy courageously tackles and kills the spider. wonderful woman, that Joy.
Joy disposed of the spider corpse and came back in my office, whereupon we both proceeded to make eebby-jeebby noises and pat down hair and clothes for spiders.
And now it's lunchtime, and I'm all by myself. and it's quiet. If another spider dropped down from the ceiling, there'd be no Joy. No Swamp thing. Nobody here to save me. so I'm wondering, if a spider lands on the desk of a blind woman, is it really there at all?