I had a CT scan of my abdomen on Friday. It's just routine for people with VHL and I don't expect any problems. It's part of my getting healthy in preparation for pregnancy plan. I figure if I'm going to share a body with another person, it's best to make sure everything is in as good a condition as I can get it. So, the radiology tech, Jill, her name was, was very nice and helpful. Michael stayed in with me as long as he could because he knows I'm something of a baby when it comes to these sorts of things, but he couldn't stay in the room once the actual test started.
Once he left, Jill said, "How long have you two been married?"
"Ten years," I answered.
"He seems very nice."
"He's wonderful."
"Did you know you had this disease when you got married?"
"Yes," I said, barely suppressing a groan, knowing where this was going. I have had this conversation with countless people.
"Are you blind because of this disease?"
VHL is very rare, so I understand that people, especially those in the medical field, are interested, so I try to be polite and patient and answer their questions. "Yes."
"Were you blind when you met your husband?"
There it was, the question I knew was coming. "Yes," I said, and I think I gave a resigned sigh.
"Oh! What a sweetheart he is!" Jill gushed.
Okay, I know he's a sweetheart. What I find interesting is that he was previously just "very nice," up until Jill found out I was already blind when he married me. Then, all of a sudden he's "a sweetheart." What went unspoken but that I know she was thinking, was: Isn't it nice of him to have married you and you being blind and all! Yes, yes, I was selling pencils on a street corner, and he took pity on me and married me. Sheesh. I mean really, the things people will say. What would she have said if I'd said I lost my sight after we married? Oh, he's such a sweetheart to have stayed with you? Oh, that poor man? I held my tongue though, and just agreed, yes, Michael is certainly a sweetheart, because it's true, he is a wonderful man. But he's a wonderful man because he's patient, compassionate, hard working, funny, and a million other things—not because he married a blind woman. I'm sure Jill thinks Michael has to dress and feed me in the mornings. he doesn't, of course, and the truth is that we take care of each other about equally. In every relationship, home duties and responsibilities get divided up on the basis of likes, dislikes, strengths and weaknesses. Naturally, I don't do any of the driving for our household. Michael doesn't do the laundry-- not unless itty bitty and pink becomes a fashion trend. he balances the checkbook, and I maintain our family calendar of events. It isn't a 50/50 split, the scales tip in either direction from time to time, but I don't think a good marriage is about equality. It's about doing what you do with love and respect, and sight is not required to love and respect someone.
But I didn't tell any of this to Jill because it was none of her business, and-- more importantly-- because she was about to inject me with x-ray dye.
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1 comment:
Jill sucks.
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